This is What Happens When You Write Jokes in the Last Two Hours of Study Hall ... Instead of Studying
I have a weekly newspaper column since July 2007.
It is called News from Hogspore, a fictitious town in the Ozarks with some smart folks and some not so smart folks coping with daily life.
First Place Humor in 2008. National Society of Newspaper Columnists.
Here is the website for the archived columns:
Here is Today's Column:
Hogspore Community News
By Clet Litter as told to Bob Simpson
It’s All About the Time to Change
Daylight Savings Time is a coming. Next Sunday, two in the morning, (I coulda just said “AM” instead of “in the morning” but I get paid by the number of words) is gonna jump to three in the morning.
The time change is supposed to give us more daylight after the working day is done. All it means to me is that it’s still gonna be light outside when I’m washing the supper dishes.
I heard that in England in the next few years, you could choose whether you have a baby girl or a baby boy. You could also make a youngin from two fathers or two mothers.
What I’d like to do is change the sex of the spawn when you want to and then adjust it back at a more convenient time.
Say you got a pretty little girl who’s growing up too fast. I’d change her to a boy when she hit thirteen and then switch “him” back once he was twenty-one.
At twenty-one, she would recollect what all the boys really got on their minds, (cause she’d been one for a while). That knowledge would keep her out of trouble way into her thirties.
I ain’t no prude about these coming changes but I’m right sure that it’s gonna rain a lot longer than forty days this time. I’m starting to build a big boat and gather up a few barnyard animals and dogs, plus my wife. I promise … I ain’t taking Noah stinking mosquitoes with me.
This column donates its proceeds and joins with the Columbus News-Report’s own continuing support of our troops.
Leonard Nimoy Rest in Peace